Break through the shame and barriers holding you back!
The factors that lead me to the path of wanting to work in this field is multifaceted. Some choices have been driving by my desire to help others, my belief that the quality of our relationships mould the quality of our lives, my curiosities surrounding interpersonal connections, desires and sex as well as my own journey into finding the key to holistic health and inner peace.
From my adolescence, I remember going to the doctors with concerns for my fatigue and energy. I would be examined and told there was nothing wrong and to just continue to push on and exercise. The lack of empathy and patient centred care I received was damaging as I continued to push through my symptoms which eventually lead to the development of chronic fatigue.
I became so unwell I could hardly get out of bed. Stimulus of any kind completely shut me down. I could hardly exert myself or walk out the door and for nearly a year I couldn’t work or socialise or exercise.
Its hard to describe the experience of losing your complete autonomy over your own body at the same time as having to rewire your own perceived identity and personality make up. This time in my life is layered with grief and loss but in hindsight is an experience I am grateful for. Getting as sick as I did lead me to putting everything into healing. I would not accept that this would be the rest of my life and I worked hard to finding the answers to heal.
From this, the conclusion I made was that mind, body and spirit need to integrate for holistic healing. I started to understand more about the significance of mind body connection and the somatic manifestations of trapped emotions in the body. This is what I felt was the core for my chronic fatigue. Years of emotional suppression and the energy that had been utilised to just keep a lid on it all.
Now with this understanding, I’ve worked hard on awareness, presence and trying to move emotions respectfully through the body. This is has had a profound affect not only on my physical health but also with my relationships and how I show up in my intimate life.
There is such value in neural modulation for health that I incorporated it into my practice as a physiotherapist with profound affects. This has helped me choose where I want my purpose and practice to lead and has been a huge link in the chain for me choosing somatic psychotherapy to integrate with my physiotherapy practice.
Path of the wounded healer
“I feel passionate about creating therapy and treatment centred around you as an individual, not just your presentation, illness or stresses. I believe that education is vital to empower you with knowledge and tools for recovery. It is important that you walk away from our time together feeling informed and excited for your healing journey.”
And what about sex……?
What is it about sex that speaks to the human experience? On a basic note, sex is one of the foundations of our animal behaviour and drives us on a primal level to procreate. On top of our primal animalistic needs is the emotion that comes with intimacy. Sex can fulfil our desires for connection and make us feel completely intertwined within our sexual partners. Sexual practices can create a blend of energy which could describe as transcendental adding another layer of spirituality or consciousness to our lives. The interrelation of sex and spirituality has been examined for decades with an understanding that sex is connected to something higher than us. This could be due to one of the outcomes of sex; renewal and birth. The ecstasy of creation.
There is much emphasis placed on procreation; whether it be the societal expectation of women to bear children, or the messages men are given about their masculinity connected to rising a family and the responsibility that comes with it. Interestingly on opposite side of the coin lies an omnipresent connection between sex and death. I find this concept less explored though social narratives and but is peppered throughout our sexual experiences. The Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud and the French social theorist Michel Foucault argued that the two are fused, that the death instinct pervades sexual activity; even within the French language translating orgasm as petit mort or “little death”.
Another thing I ponder is this emerging juxtaposition between our hypersexualised society (that has been created from marketing, social media and consumerism), against how we are seem to be starved of human connection. It’s as if the more sexualised our media becomes, the more removed from face-to-face interaction we also become. New emerging data looks at links between younger generations, the influence of social media and the prevalence of behavioural conditions and mental health disorders. How can we even begin to merge this gap and teach people the appropriate vernacular to communicate about sex, desires and consent when we can’t even communicate in basic day to day conversation.
This gap is growing and is entranced in shame. I have been interested in the topic of sex for years, indulged my curiosities through research and done countless hours of self-work to be able to allow for a more natural and empowering dialogue around sex within my life. I have explored multiple facets of sexuality, ways to have sex and reflected upon what drove me to certain experiences, both good and bad. Despite all of this,
I still struggled
I still felt shame
I still engage in sex with backing shadow motivations
I still struggled to voice what I felt and what I desired
The fact of the matter is that even those of us who work in these fields or are actively working on grounded and aligning with their Self, still struggle with sex. Amplify this struggle for those who cannot even speak about it, who feel so much shame and disconnect and who are completely out of touch with this fundamental aspect of life. It diminishes the experience of their very existence. Bridging this gap and helping people who struggle on this level is one of my main motivating factors for working in the field of sex.
Every single person deserves to experience a full, enriched and pleasurable sex and intimate life. Once you connect with this fundamental pillar for human experience, watch how the rest of your life opens!!
